Sometimes when I am grieving…I find myself choosing to just sit in God’s lap and let Him hold me close for a while.
In those moments I don’t want to talk, I don’t want to hear anyone’s solutions or wisdom; I just want to be held by the creator of all things who describes Himself comforting us like a mother comforts her child.
When we grieve we are opening our heart to feel the impact of some truth and letting something go. We are not in a space to listen to words or to think. Grieving in God’s arms, we discover we are receiving something while we are releasing; we are being filled up so that we have the energy to take the next step and to breathe.
“Come unto Me all who are weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest.” This is the invitation. Sometimes you and I refuse the invitation because we are mad that God didn’t “fix” the problem, heal the person, save the day. Then I sulk. Sulking feels good at first. However it creates resentment and keeps me rewriting the song that life is not fair. And that is where we can get stuck for years. When people came to Jesus who were sick or in pain He was interested in their healing.
“I do not find something spiritually until I first lose it, ignore it, miss it, long for it, choose it, and personally find it again, not now on a new level…In the end we don’t find what we’ve lost, we discover a new self in the process.” Richard Rohr
I had about 2 years where all I could do was put one foot in front of the other and “choose to sit with God” in my grief. Sometimes I would “sit” in the same room with Him. because I wasn’t ready to sit in his lap. Some days I held His hand and others I climbed into his lap like a little girl needing his daddy’s comfort. I am so grateful that God is patient and “longs to be gracious to me”.